Lost in Translation

I have to admit, I know very little about Russia. When I think about Russia, the few things that come to mind are vodka, Communism, and that movie with Val Kilmer. Not so much beer though. But we carry four Russian beers at the pub, so I was curious. I tried the Red East Classic, made by some brewery that I can't type because my keyboard did not come complete with the Russian alphabet.

I poured the contents of the bottle into a glass to experience my first Russian brew. A long train of tiny bubbles rose to the top of the glass like a champagne. There was a hint of a skunky, grassy aroma. The flavor was crisp and bland, with a rather displeasing flowery perfume aftertaste. The Red East Classic is a pale lager, but it lacked that thirst quenching, refreshing quality many lagers exhibit. I had a hard time getting it down, but it wasn't so terrible that it couldn't be done.

I logged onto the Red East Classic website which was in Russian (no big surprise). I clicked on the option to translate the page and what I got was equally incomprehensible:

Sound c tvuyte dear friends! Have you tried beer "East is Red"? Do not imagine this otkazyvayte pleasure, feel the flavor of life along with beer "East is Red" - beer made on the conscience! For your age tradition in 1867 and modern technology one of the largest refineries in Europe.

Come again? The orange and red label on the bottle reads, "The Tradition Beer of Russia." Did they mean "traditional? Was that another error in translation? I gave up deciphering the language, and asked my Russian friend for some input. I was told that the beer is indeed drank by Russians, but not particularly a favorite. Some of the more prevalent beers in Russia are made by Baltika and Yarpivo. Although I've never had them, I would have to assume they are better than the Red East.

If I were in Russia, I think I'd stick to vodka.