40 Yo'

What's the absolute worst, most ridiculous, embarrassing beer you can picture yourself drinking? Although there's likely a heap of beers that fit this category, personally I can't think of anything worse than a "beer" that is commonly served in a 40-ounce bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag, sold dirt cheap, and often purchased in nickels and dimes. Yep, I'm talking about the lowest of low: malt liquors.

A malt liquor is an American beer style characterized by high alcohol content, light body and color, and very little hop character. They are brewed with high amounts of malts, heartier yeast strains, dextrose, and corn or rice. Some breweries use special enzymes that make virtually all the sugars fermentable, therefore artificially inducing a higher alcohol content. The average alcohol content of a malt liquor ranges from 6%-9%.

Malt liquors tend to have a bad reputation. Probably due to a combination of the horrible taste, and the fact they're the beverage of choice for the homeless and unemployed. The seedier the neighborhood, the more crushed cans of Steel Reserve scattered about street. A larger bottle with a high alcohol content sold at a low price = more bang for your buck.

I was inspired to write this blog after a night at Arnies, when my friend suggested I order a Mickey's. I didn't know what Mickey's was, and come to find out, it's a malt liquor. It was served in a small squatty green bottle that looked more like ginger ale than beer. The label read "fine malt liquor;" what an oxymoron. The suggestion was made not because of the quality of the beer, but because there's a riddle on the bottom of the cap. Their website is pretty flashy as well, so at least I got some entertainment from it, but the beer...not good.

For some reason, we have 40 ounce bottles of Old English stocked at the pub. I assume we carry them as a bit of a joke, kind of like the domestic tall boys. Strangely enough, some people get really excited when they see them. And when one person orders one, they tend to turn into some kind of a fad. As if one person walking about the place with a forty in hand doesn't look ridiculous enough, I suppose other people spot them and think, I too, desire to look like a tactless imbecile. I guess if you want to get a laugh from your beer choice, this is the one to order.